I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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