He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
