it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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