her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do vagina's smell?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
