we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you had me at cake vodka
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Randomize
