It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
