Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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