I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize