would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
