I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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