ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
