I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
