This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
