My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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