He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm both gender and math confused
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
