Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
