I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
