Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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