The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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