I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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