Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
