yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize