bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
