What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
