come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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