also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
