I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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