Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
