I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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