she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize