I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
