hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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