she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
