omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i think im in europe. pls send help
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
