do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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