So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Randomize
