You're so nebulous sometimes
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
