She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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