Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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