Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
