ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
