i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
