Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
