You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
