They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
