Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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