Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
