Do vagina's smell?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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