Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
