woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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