How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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