Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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