Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
