yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
