Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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