Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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