He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize