Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
