just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
