I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My penis needs a shock collar
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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