i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
