once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
